amore imperfetto

"I learned several years ago never to mistake attention for affection."

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 10:51:00 -0800

“I learned several years ago never to mistake attention for affection.”

- John Mayer

I was listening to First Love by Adele and became inspired to write a post about, well, first loves....

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 10:47:33 -0800

I was listening to First Love by Adele and became inspired to write a post about, well, first loves. Sorry I’ve been M.I.A. lately. There are many personal and probably boring-to-hear reasons for that.

First loves are hard, aren’t they? There isn’t really anything as magical as it. I’m sure I’ve talked about this before. When I get to the heart of the matter, however, I really do wonder if we are ever able to love as hard and purely as we do the first time around. Because whatever you feel with this new person, no matter how wonderful and perfect they are, must be a feeling that you have already reached heights with someone previously. And if you are shaking your head in disagreement, maybe you weren’t really in love.

"When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before..."

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:03:44 -0800

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”

- Andy Warhol

You headed off to college at the end of that summer and we lost...

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 23:41:27 -0800

You headed off to college at the end of that summer and we lost touch

I guess I didn’t realize even at the moment we lost so much

I haven’t seen you in ages

Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are

For me you’ll always be eighteen and beautiful and dancing away with my heart

Video

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:55:43 -0800

please wear the face, the one where you smile because you...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:47:00 -0800

please wear the face, the one where you smile

because you lighten up my heart when I start to cry

forgive me first love, but I’m tired

I need to get away to feel again

this love has dried up and stayed behind

and if I stay I’ll be a lie

excuse me first love, but we’re through

I need to taste a kiss from someone new

"It’s one of those things you never know for certain because there’s no way to enter all..."

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:07:00 -0800

“It’s one of those things you never know for certain because there’s no way to enter all the relationship data in a computer and have it spit out a definitive answer. You can’t quantify love, and if you try, you can wind up focusing on misleading factors. Stuff that really has more to do with personality - the fact that some people are simply more expressive or emotional or needy in a relationship. But beyond such smokescreens, the answer is there. Love is seldom - almost never - an even proposition. Someone always loves more.”

- Emily Giffin

There never really is quite something as magical and raw as a first love. And when you experience it...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:16:00 -0800

There never really is quite something as magical and raw as a first love. And when you experience it with someone who has never previously been in love, it is stunning. I never wanted it to end.

The idea that two innocent people are able to find their way to love is such a phenomenon. As many have realized, love is a continual process. You either grow fonder of your significant other or you find it dying away. The last memory I have of you is how madly in love I was. The way my hands clenched around yours because it was the only reason you couldn’t leave. My tears, my pleas, nothing else was working.

I remember the expression on your face so vividly. Completely checked out. You were no longer my boyfriend but just someone who wanted to separate. I ask myself all the time why it is that I miss you so much.

I have concluded that it isn’t necessarily you I miss, but that ecstasy of being in love for the first time. Every day was an undiscovered emotion and I never wanted it to end. I think I will find love again one day, but it won’t be the same. That’s what I’m scared of. I am so in love with being in love with you.

there’s a corner of your heart just for me I will pack my...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:01:00 -0800

there’s a corner of your heart just for me

I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart

there’s one minute of your day

I will leave this man just to occupy one minute of your day

just to stay in the corner of your heart

“I promise to wake up more in love with you than I was the day before.” I honestly...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 11:54:08 -0800

“I promise to wake up more in love with you than I was the day before.”

I honestly believed that my 2011 new year’s resolution would be the first I would ever keep. Then, in the eighth month, you left me. Somehow I still managed to keep that resolution.

My 2012 resolution?

Try to wake up a little less in love with you than I was the day before.

"It’s amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take."

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:06:00 -0800

“It’s amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take.”

- Nora Roberts

a Sara Bareilles cover of “Yellow” by Coldplay your...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:03:15 -0800

a Sara Bareilles cover of “Yellow” by Coldplay

your skin and bones turn into something beautiful

you know I love you so

Photo

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:58:10 -0800

justalittlegreen: Adagio for Strings | Samuel Barber Samuel...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:56:00 -0800

justalittlegreen:

Adagio for Strings | Samuel Barber

Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings is one of the most solemn and evocative pieces of American music.

Commentator, pianist and composer Rob Kapilow says that the kind of catharsis the piece goes through is actually the kind of catharsis that a funeral is about. ”It starts from incredible sadness, builds to an incredible climax of intensity, and then finally reaches a kind of serene acceptance, which is completely appropriate for those occasions,” he says. From the very beginning of the piece, Kapilow says, you get the perfect mood. ”It starts off with just a single note,” he says. “And it’s so pure, it’s as if that note somehow was there forever.”

What’s so powerful, Kapilow says, is the inevitability of the emotional cycle of the piece. The simplicity of it: You hear it once, it’s copied again, it comes back, it reaches a climax, then gets reduced to four notes.

The simplicity of the logic,” he says, “is to make you feel the universality of the journey: from the simple note to the high emotional wailing to release and to final acceptance, but never in the place you thought it was going to lead you to. “The slowness is at the core of the piece,” he adds. “Because acceptance is not a rapid process.”

I heard it in your voice when your love died On a telephone...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:34:30 -0800

I heard it in your voice when your love died

On a telephone connection spinning miles and miles of wire

You said it was over and I cried and cried

You were gone before I said goodbye

When did we go wrong and let it all undo

The only one I ever loved was you

It kills me as I lay awake at night

Remembering the last kiss that we shared doesn’t feel right

Would you stay just a little, my love

If you stayed just a little, that’s enough

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:33:07 -0800

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.”

- Emily Dickinson

Don’t cleanse yourself of the memorabilia collected in the duration of your relationship. If it’s...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:33:00 -0800

Don’t cleanse yourself of the memorabilia collected in the duration of your relationship. If it’s true love, you will need those precious valuables to remind you of how good you once had it. Even if you know you will never get back together with your once-beloved significant other, it does not mean you should forget, in the event you may succumb to settling or giving up.

I once had a burning ceremony with my best girlfriends where we each placed flammable items into a fire and thought long and hard about what the douche bag had done to us and why it was really over. That was great, but all I was left with was a pile of smelly remnants and a reminder of how poor my taste was in those dreaded high school days.

like a freeze-dried rose, you will never be, what you were, what...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:32:26 -0800

like a freeze-dried rose, you will never be, what you were, what you were to me in memory

if things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to the tune we played before you went away

my silence solidifies, until that hollow void erases you so I can’t feel at all

but if I never feel again, at least that nothingness will end the painful dream of you and me

and if I listen to the sound of white, sometimes I hear your smile and breathe your light

Before we met, I had the most trivial list of expectations in a man that I required all my...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:31:26 -0800

Before we met, I had the most trivial list of expectations in a man that I required all my boyfriends to meet. I thought I knew everything I wanted but there you were - something so different and so wonderful. Why is it that the one person who is so far from what I thought I wanted and cared about in life ended up being the one I will never forget and never fall out of love with?

Through all this ache and numbness, I have one conclusion. I chose you. Not because you are wise beyond your years or the epitome of chivalry. I chose to be with you. And as much as I try to tell myself that I am entirely capable of choosing someone else, I do believe it’s too late. I have already fallen madly in love with you and nothing has changed from the day you left me.

I love your imperfection. I love our mad desire to grow up, restrained by our internal immaturity. I love your perfect eyes when you look at me like there is nothing else that can stop us from loving each other. I loved absorbing your thoughts as you’d hold me silently and then whisper “we’re doing good, aren’t we?”

It’s midnight of Christmas day and I am sitting here at my computer, writing mindlessly and posting...

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:31:00 -0800

It’s midnight of Christmas day and I am sitting here at my computer, writing mindlessly and posting any words that enter my mind and leave my fingers. I remember exactly one year ago when we exchanged gifts, commenting on my inappropriate and your thoughtful taste. We were, as I thought, in love. That is nothing compared to how much I love you now.

We are not currently together, but oh if you knew how much I still love you.